James suddenly found himself against the wall as Remus pushed past, watching him close the distance on Lily with just a few steps. He wouldn't hurt her, he was confident of that, usually. Remus was almost never like this though, so it worried him. He got his bearings about him and followed. He was always the observant sort, seeing Remus shove his hand in his pocket and the reaction, but not knowing what was in there to cause it. He was about to get between them when he heard the answer he didn't want but knew he needed, stopping in his tracks and just staring at her in shock, in stunned silence before he found his words as Sirius got his wand. He stepped over as if in a trance, getting between them, James' dulled eyes on Sirius', a hand placed on his wand hand just lightly, not forcing it or moving it, answering his demand for a reason with a voice not like his at all, sounding quiet and broken from what he just heard
Me. I won't be able to take it if I lose a brother on top of all this...
That would be when Sirius would see not a breakdown, but a single tear fall from his eye, hidden from Lily behind him. Whether that would cause Sirius to stop or set him off worse he didn't know, but he couldn't help it. As he heard, or rather realized Lily was speaking as he had been, he held up his other hand as if to say to stop
Lily...
God it hurt to even say her name just then. He still had his back to her, his tone the same as it had been with Sirius. He was past yelling, he was just tired. Physically, emotionally and mentally tapped.
Shut it. You just lied to me while telling me you were being honest. While trying to fix what had already been done. You told me you kissed. It took my brother catching you in the act to get the truth where you couldn't manipulate it. Manipulate me. You claimed Severus seduced you, but now I hear different. You even have the audacity to mention the idea of sending you to the Death Eaters with no regard to what happened to Remus' mother mere months ago. Do you truly care for none but yourself? The effect that your words have on others? I gave you my heart and you've done more damage to it than anyone in my life. This was not a mistake. A simple kiss happening before you realize it is a mistake. For you to do what I've heard is a conscious choice. A willing act. At some point, you made the decision that you were going to have your way with Severus Snape, and my love didn't matter enough to stop you. You just now called me "the man you love" but I don't think I can believe that. Not after this. After what you've done. You said I, we, forced you to give up his friendship. I never made a demand of you to give up anything. Nor did my brothers. You've a gift for twisting facts or dramatizing them in your favor. No one here is stupid, regardless of the spin you put on things, we still know the truth. You werent seduced by Snape. You had to have wanted it. He wasn't forcing you to do anything judging by how you were found by Remus, how you have that sickening mark on your neck. Did you play Snape the way you've played me? You knew he wanted you, you knew you could have him. You had just hurt me deeply and somehow you feel you're justified in doing that? Where do the lies stop? I don't care if you're thinking of the Pope while you're snogging him, the act remains the same. You've said a lot of unbelievable things looking back at this. What am I supposed to think of you after all the lies and manipulation? You're not the person I thought you were...
Sirius could see a few more tears following the first as he spoke, not looking back at her, his arm lowering to his side again
Congratulations, Lily. You've done what all those girls that follow us around couldn't. You've broken my heart and hurt me. I hope it was worth it. I'm sure Severus would be more than willing to make you feel better. You don't know anything about family if you could do this.
He never raised his voice, there wasn't a point anymore, and he was past yelling after all he learned. He put a hand on Sirius' shoulder, pushing him away back toward the door, not roughly, just making him go with him, closing the door behind him without looking back at her, locking it and walking over to Remus, the concern for himself and feeling down and depressed seeming to drop as expected when he saw Remus was hurt, always putting his brothers before himself. He held Remus' arm gently but firmly enough he couldn't jerk away so easily, knowing that was the automatic reaction Remus had when wounded, looking at the wounded hand, gasping as he saw bone showing through, careful not to touch the blood of course.
What the hell did you do Remus!?
It was then that he spotted the bloody silver rod in the rubbish next to them, pulling his wand out and cleaning the blood off everything including around the wound, grabbing the silver rod and throwing it across the room as far away from Remus as possible
We've got to heal this somehow, it's too deep and severe to leave as it is
Lily Evans Wed Aug 17, 2011 7:42 pm
orry james..i love you ..even now I want nothing more then. To convince you of that..i don't expect you to forget this but i want to earn your forgiveness necause thats what two people do when the6love eachother. they dont give up."
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